


Too Dear To Me

by msbayne (Knaija)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Confession, Crushes, Friendship, Gay Stiles, High School AU, passing notes, stiles and derek are the same age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 05:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knaija/pseuds/msbayne
Summary: Stiles loves Derek and Derek loves him too... but maybe not in the same way. But that's okay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DiscontentedWinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiscontentedWinter/gifts).



Derek notices Kate's wave when he leans back in his chair, flexing his fingers from too much note-taking. He wonders what she wants until he sees the note in her other hand and the flirty smile she sends his way. 

He' a little confused. She's never looked his way before. She's never even tried to pretend that she knows he exits let alone, smile like she's doing. so he does the only reasonable thing and looks the other way, wondering if she's smiling at someone else. But there's no one there because he's the last on the row. When he frowns back at her, she points at him and then the note.

Derek's eyebrows rise in surprise at the confirmation.

He nudges Stiles, his best friend, who's sitting between him and Kate.

"What?" Stiles asks, still focused on the notes being written on the board as he whispers back to Derek.

"Psst. Look at me, you idiot." He hisses and Stiles finally turns. "Get the note from Kate."

"What?" Stiles asks, confused at the thought that Kate would want to give anything to Derek. Derek's not insulted because he knows it's strange too. He can't wait to read it. He can't wait to tell Stiles all about it. He can't wait till he looks down at the words on it in pride, realizing that girls notice him now.

But as Stiles turns and gets the letter, he passes it back to Derek with a sad, pitiful look on his face as something inside of Derek crumbles. He knows what Stiles is thinking. That maybe this is a prank. That maybe Kate has written something mean and it would totally break Derek's heart.

When he collects the letter, he's not feeling so hot anymore.

"Sorry." Stiles says, passing the note to him and brushing his fingers against Derek's in a familiar show of affection and support.

Hands shaking, Derek opens the note.

_Girls' locker room. 5th period._

When Derek looks up at Kate, she's not looking at him anymore, but there's a coy smile on her face that she looks as if she's struggling to hide.

*********

Kate is utterly demanding when she kisses Derek later that day. But he assumes it's fine since she seems to know what she's doing. She expertly undoes his pants as she slips her hand in, causing him to nearly slip to the floor in happy surprise. But she's right there with. She shoves him against the door for support as if she'd anticipated this and Derek has to remember to think when her fingers close round his dick.

"Oh God." He says.

"It's Kate." She smirks. "But the sentiment is kinda nice."

Seconds later, when she drops down to her knees before him, Derek's pretty sure he squeals like a girl in anticipation, but Kate doesn't mind. If anything, her single-minded focus on his dick makes him forget to be embarrassed by how quickly comes soon after that.

*********

"That doesn't make any sense." Stiles says on the way home after Derek has explained in as much detail as he could recall, his encounter in the locker room.

"I don't care. I'm too happy to care. I'm walking on sunshine."

"But why would she do it. Out of nowhere... she just kisses you? And then she blows you."

"Hey!" Derek says, tapping Stiles' shoulder because he's beginning to feel insulted. "What's wrong with someone wanting me?"

"Nothing." Stiles says hurriedly.

"Then why do you keep questioning it? Do you think I'd lie to you?"

"Never." 

"So you believe me, right?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just don't understand why she'd kiss you." Stiles says, sounding frustrated.

"You..." Derek tilts his head in confusion. "Why? Because I'm so unkissable?"

"No! Der, I-"

"What? Do I look like a freak? Is it to hard to believe?"

"NO!"

"Because no one could want me?"

"That's not true."

"THEN WHAT IS IT?"

"I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS YOU!" Stiles shouts, shutting Derek up in an instant. "I'm... the only one who knows the real you. And I still want you, Der."

Derek shakes his head as he takes a step away from Stiles. Seeing this, Stiles frowns, looking utterly disappointed. He laughs.

"I get it." Stiles says. "I was never under any illusion that you liked me back, Der."

Turning off the road, away from the street they always took home, Stiles disappeared before Derek's mouth could form any words.

*********

Derek waits the whole evening, staring down at his phone and wondering why Stiles hasn't called. He waited and waited till it got ridiculous so he called Stiles. Stiles didn't answer.

He tried to send a text but he couldn't think of anything to say. His best friend was in love with him. And there was nothing he could say to that. So he took a shower, looked at his phone one last time.

And went to bed.

*********

At school the next day, Stiles seats in his usual seat, only sparing Derek a nod before classes begin. But seeing as Derek hasn't quite decided what he wants to say on the issue, he decides to follow Stiles' lead to pretend the day before didn't happen.

But during lunch, when Derek finds Stiles sitting alone, he places his tray opposite Stiles' and goes to sit just as Kate arrives, dropping her own tray right beside Derek's. 

"Hello, gorgeous." She says and barely has her butt on the bench before Stiles' up and scrambling away with his tray and bag in tow. "What's his problem?" She asks, sipping from her juice box as she begins to pick at her lunch. "How was your night?"

"It was fine."

"I'm hoping we can hook-up later. A little light _reading_.” She trails her foot up his leg. “My dad's out of town and my brother's sleeping over at his girlfriend's house."

"Yeah. Sure." He says, nodding.

*********

Derek's supposed to be outside of Kate's house but he's not. He's supposed to have his tongue down a beautiful girl's throat but he's not.

Because he's standing on the ledge outside of Stiles' room window, struggling to breathe.

"I can her you, you know?" Stiles says, shocking Derek out of his thoughts.

Sighing and resigning himself, Derek pokes his head in and his whole body follows.

"Erica said you had a date with Kate. What gives?" Stiles asks, standing by the shelf of books on the wall.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

"Don't play dumb, Stiles."

"I'm not dumb."

"Then talk to me. What the hell is this?"

"I thought I made myself clear."

"Why now?" Derek asks in anger. "All this time. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you're straight."

"Then why did you say it now? Why not keep it to yourself?”

“Because she kissed you.”

Derek sits on the window pane, struggling to understand Stiles. He’s known him almost all his life and he never thought there’d be a time that Stiles didn’t make sense to him. Even in all of Stiles’ incessant rambling, he’d always found some meaning… some method to Stiles’ madness. But now? Now, Derek’s drawing blanks all over the place.

“I’m not gay.” Derek says.

“I know.” Stiles replies.

“I don’t… I don’t feel that way about you.”

“I know that Derek.”

As Derek turns to leave, he sees Stiles stretch out to him.

“Don’t… wait. Der.”

Derek stops.

“You don’t have to go.”

“Stiles-”

“You don’t have to love me like that but don’t let me lose my best friend over it.”

Derek can’t even control the tears that fill his eyes at Stiles’ words. Because he doesn’t deserve Stiles’ love. He never thought he did. Not when scrawny, brittle-boned Stiles had stood up to Jackson Whitmore for Derek’s sake, even though Derek knew he could take Jackson any day. Not when Stiles had taken it upon himself to tutor Derek through his first basketball season when Derek was falling behind. Through it all, Stiles has always been there.

Because Stiles loves him… cared deeply for him.

“I don’t want to lose my best friend too.”

And Stiles is suddenly rushing forward as he hugs Derek like his life depends on it, sniffing into Derek’s neck as Derek let’s his hands hold Stiles, trying with all his might not to degrade Stiles’ feelings for him by being a dick and not returning the hug.

“I know you care about me.” Stiles says through tears. “It doesn’t have to be more than that. I promise.”

“Okay.” Derek agrees. He can’t let go of his best friend, either. They’ve seen each other through all kinds of things. If this was something Stiles was going through, Derek wasn’t going to go anywhere. So he says, “It’s okay, Stiles.” Derek hugs him more. “I need my best friend too.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a one-shot, but this happened.

Stiles thinks he should have kept his mouth shut. He plays that day over and over in his mind, praying that it was all a dream. But when he opens his eyes, only the thought of Derek hugging him back keeps him sane. If he confessed the way he did. And he still has Derek, then maybe things aren’t so bad. He wants to believe he can just go on living like it has always been.

But life is never so good to Stiles. Now he has to watch Kate fawn all over Derek every second she gets.

So he blanks the whole situation, choosing to sit away from Derek during lunch so that Derek can enjoy the female attention he’d spent so many years fawning over. It’s finally here and Stiles doesn’t think he can take that away from Derek. He tries to enter the cafeteria after Derek is already seated because he knows that if he comes in first, Derek would make a bee-line for him, regardless of the giggling entourage that always seems to follow him these days.

He manages for two weeks, until it suddenly hits him in the face when he enters school one morning and there’s a banner hanging overhead, informing everyone that prom tickets are out.

Stiles presses his lips together and ignores it, telling himself that there’s no reason to cry. Even if he’d always imagined that he and Derek would go together, he’d never thought anyone would come between them.

While it had taken the whole world a million years to know that Derek Hale was smoking hot, Stiles had always known. Ever since he was little and had been convinced that Derek was really just a live action version of Hercules, he’d known Derek would always be the love of his life. But he’d soon learned that he wasn’t it for Derek.

Because Derek liked girls.

And that had been okay. Because girls didn’t like Derek. Which meant they’d get to go to prom together… if they even went at all. But now, Derek had a girl friend and Stiles was left alone. He’d most likely spend that night reading or watching movies. Or watching porn, masturbating and crying -as he’d recently come to know was possible.

“Hey, Stiles.” Erica says that day as they settle in for Mr. Harris’ class.

“Yeah?” He asks, pulling out his books, acutely aware that on his other side, Derek is doing the exact same thing.

“Would… would…” She trails off, as he goes completely red everywhere.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asks, reaching over to feel her temperature when Erica lets out a slight whimper and Stiles freezes, taking his hand away in shock.

“Would you like to go to prom with me?” She asks, sounding almost angry at her shyness. “Stiles?”

“I…”

“Think about it.” She says as she drops the ticket on his desk and goes to sit on Kate’s other side where she’s sitting beside Derek. Far away from Stiles.

Stiles stares down at the ticket, not sure what to think. Is there something in the water? Is there a reason the girls in BHHS are suddenly so forward? Erica’s been his friendly classmate for years and she’s never said anything. Why now?

And then Stiles thinks back to Kate’s note and Stiles’ own confession to Derek and he’s not so sure if it’s just the girls who’ve been possessed by some forward spirit.

It’s Senior Prom. And whether they all know it or not, no one wants to go alone.

*********

“Are you going to take Erica to prom?” Derek asks as Stiles splays himself all over Derek’s bed, abandoning his bag and shoes on the floor.

“I don’t know.”

He really doesn’t. He’s not sure he wants to spend the day at home alone. But he’s not sure he wants to go with anyone who isn’t Derek.

“Don’t lead her on, Stiles.”

“I’m not.”

“You don’t like her.”

“Derek!” Stiles scolds and Derek falls silent. He doesn’t want to talk about this with Derek. He doesn’t think he can. Not when they run the risk of discussing someone’s obsession with Stiles when he’s directly obsessed with Derek and they might draw some parallels between the two stories.

Derek, being the angel that he is, drops the whole thing completely. He gets them snacks and drinks and puts on cartoons on the TV in his room so that Stiles can concentrate on his assignment as they get to work in silence.

*********

The next day, Stiles’ lunch time gets interrupted by Erica, who seems to think she’s an item with Stiles now. She abandons her place by Kate’s side and follows Stiles around, chatting with him and trying to engage him in conversation. Stiles doesn’t know what to tell her. He’s still carrying the ticket around in his pocket like a lead weight and feeling pulled down by the responsibility to make this girl happy.

Even though he knows he’ll never like her like she deserves.

That’s how his eyes meet a certain broody stare, watching them from across the room as Stiles nearly recoils at the intensity. He holds the stare till the other boy looks away, but suddenly, he’s planted a thought in Stiles’ mind and Stiles can’t help but be grateful.

“Hey.” Stiles says to the boy, the net day at lunch. “Vernon, right?”

“Call me Boyd.” He says, his voice deep and more grown up than any seventeen-year-old’s voice should be.

“Yeah. I’m Stiles. This is Erica.”

“Hello.” Erica says and when Stiles sees a flicker in Boyd’s stoic nature, Stiles thinks he’s so right on this.

“Can we sit with you?” He says, taking the seat adjacent to Boyd’s so that Erica has to sit opposite Boyd.

“You don’t like your carrots?” Erica asks, looking at Boyd in confusion.

“Not really.” Boyd says shyly. “Do you want them?”

Erica nods, pushing her plate forward as Boyd scrapes his neatly arranged carrots into Erica’s plate.

And then Erica starts to talk and talk, stopping only for a few seconds when Boyd wants to say something. She might be on the quiet side when she’s with her friends, but when she’s with Stiles –and apparently, Boyd- she just raps on and on, keeping Boyd’s focus as Stiles tries to eat in peace.

Another week and a half goes by of this before Erica’s pulling Stiles behind the stairwell in an ambush that he definitely should have seen coming.

“I know what you’re doing.” She accuses and Stiles tries not to feel ashamed. “You don’t like me, so you’re trying to get me to like someone who does.”

“I… sorry.” He says. He’s not sure there’s much else he can say on the matter.

But then she hugs him.

“This is why I love you.” Erica says to him. “This is why you’re special.”

When she pulls away from the hug and Stiles can’t stop smiling from relief that Erica isn’t going to get Kate to destroy him for breaking her heart, she pinches him in the chest.

“Now, hand over my ticket.”

“You’re going to ask him to Prom?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Stiles pulls his bag down to suss out the ticket.

“I didn’t think it would take so short a time.”

“You don’t like me, Stiles.” She says, looking like she really doesn’t want to look sad. “If someone else does… it’s good being your friend anyway.”

“I’m sorry.” He says again, feeling like a douche for not liking her back.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She says as she takes the ticket from him. “But since you got me a date, I’ll do you one solid.”

“What?” Stiles asks, wondering if Erica has some magical way to get him his Derek back before Prom.

“You’ll be with Derek today, right?”

“Yeah.”

“If Kate calls him tonight, don’t let him come out.”

“What?” Stiles asks again.

“Bye Stiles.” She says and disappears into the throng of students passing by on the corridor.

*********

Stiles chews all his nails till the pinky starts to bleed thinking about Erica’s words. What’s he supposed to do? How will he keep Derek away from Kate, a girl he’s so clearly smitten over? Until recently, Stiles was pretty sure he could get Derek to do anything, but now? He’s not so sure anymore.

When Derek’s phone rings around 9pm, Stiles jumps off the bed, shocking Derek so much that he doesn’t even answer it.

“Okay there?” he asks, looking at Stiles in worry.

“I’m not… I’m not feeling so… can you stay home with me?”

“Are you sick?” Derek asks, getting up to come sit by Stiles as Stiles tries not to lean into him. He’s reduced the amount of cuddling he used to do because he doesn’t think it’s appropriate now that he knows for sure, Derek doesn’t like him that way.

“I think… I think I might be coming down with something.”

“Stiles.” Derek says, sighing in frustration as he gets up and begins to dial Kate’s number because the phone has stopped ringing.

“Don’t!” Stiles says and Derek looks at him.

“Why?”

“Erica was really cryptic today and she said I should not let you go meet Kate today if she called. She said she was doing me a favor by telling me. And I just have this weird feeling that something bad might happen and-”

“Stiles, Stiles.” Derek calls, coming to squat as he brackets Stiles legs with his, rubbing his arms up and down Stiles’ side to calm him down as Stiles realizes he was probably working himself into a panic attack. “You should have told me that instead of lying.”

“But you wanted to see Kate.”

“If you think something bad will happen, Stiles, I won’t go.”

Stiles feels his heart drop in his chest. Even though he feels utterly comforted by the fact that Derek has chosen to stay here with him, he can’t help but hate that Derek would do something like this… that Derek would sacrifice what he really wanted, just because Stiles was a scared little shit with abandonment issues.

He should never have let Erica get his head, Stiles thinks, as he lets Derek continue to rub him even long after he’s sure there’s no risk of a panic attack.

*********

At lunch the next day, while Stiles and Derek eat, Erica fills them in –like she should have done the day before.

“Kate got arrested.” She says plainly as she and Vernon take seats beside Derek and Stiles.

“What?” Derek asks with food in his mouth.

“She set a warehouse on fire.”

“And you weren’t there?” Stiles asks.

“Vernon asked me not to go.”

Stiles looks between the two of them as he feels Derek look from Erica to Stiles.

Later, as Stiles picks up his books for the next period, Derek leans on the locker beside him.

“You saved my ass.” He says.

“From your crazy girlfriend?” Stiles asks but then thinks it’s in poor taste to bad mouth her, even if she is crazy. But then Derek laughs.

“Yes, from my crazy girlfriend.”

“You’re welcome.”

He shuts the locker and starts down to class.

“You don’t have a date to prom, I don’t have a date to prom.”

“Just two dateless dudes.” Stiles nods.

“I’ll take you to prom.” Derek says. Stiles frowns.

“Because you can’t take Kate?”

“Because I want to go with you. We could hang out like we always wanted to. Make fun of everyone else and then I’ll even take you to Jerry’s Burger after. Huh? What do you say?”

Stiles doesn’t know what to say. A while ago, he’d have been fine, but now that he knows Derek is just settling, he feels so crappy.

“Hey!” Derek says as the warning bell rings. “I want to take you.”

“But you like girls.”

“So what?”

“You’re only asking me because you don’t think you could get another girl.”

Derek laughs.

“Stiles, one of the perks of dating Kate was that I suddenly realized something. I’m hot. Girls think I’m hot. I could go with any of them. But I know we'll have fun at Prom together. Plus, we were going to go anyway so why not?”

Stiles considers, thinking of the fact that Derek does have a point. Any girl would be lucky to have him. If he wants to go with Stiles, then Stiles it is.

“Fine.” He says. “But you’re buying the tickets.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


End file.
